miss_cavatica

 





Every borogove has a tendency towards a mimsy disposition, but you can change that. This little guy would do very well in any country house, but he's also fond of the city provided there is a bakery within accessible range. Flightless, he can be put into a pocket to be taken to the pâtisserie, where he delights in ripping up the paper napkins and taking baths in the teacups. The borogoves as a species require plenty of attention and need to be kept abreast of their situation--do not spring news on them, or they will descend into a deep, dark mimsiness which can only be rectified with plenty of calm explanations and cuddling in front of a warm art gallery.

 Behold, the fruits of five days' labor--the beginnings of a menagerie and some miscellaneous cuteness.  All available on Etsy! http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=7877677



A whimsy beast, the Jub-Jub bird is a passionate little creature with a great fondness for island living. Though prospective owners are frequently warned against the Jub-Jub bird, it is a peaceful and cheerful companion if provided with scones and enough sticky tape with which to play. If the birdie begins to act up, simply shun it for a few days and you'll have your playful little friend back!

Part of the Lewis Carroll Menagerie Series. 100% handmade.

The major problem with humans, I find, is that they have a peculiar tendency to send everything rapidly into flux.  Dismantling a perfectly good web and forcing one to construct a new one...AND patch the old one...is an example of this.  

But we say very little.

Building a new home is never easy, particularly if one is a new homeowner.  Speaking as a spider, I have experienced scads of common woes--drafts, poor roofing, and a lack of closet space.  I have nowhere to put my shoes!

But amidst scuttling hither and yon and patching the old web, I've moved into the new web and I must say I am impressed.  Particularly the concept of a 'loft bed' appeals.  I wonder if I could order one on this thing.

 I'm sure I don't know what on earth you people were thinking when you made this Internet, but I must say you did a simply marvelous job.

But I do have some concerns--the frequent mentions of "bacon," for instance.  Wilbur is getting rather worried but also, bizarrely, rather hungry.  Please cease and desist.  

Also--why are there not "LOLspiders"?  

And is there any way to get people to stop sending me videos of humans mating?  It's hilarious, but I'm tired of it, completely.

Spring has sprung and everything around me with sex organs is mating.  I have not yet received overtures from any of the gentlemen Araneus cavaticus in the neighborhood; however, I have received a wire from the sister to whose egg my egg was adjacent that she has successfully produced nine hundred sixty-seven eggs.  She also enjoyed a lovely lunch of her mate and has begun weaving seven thousand, seven hundred thirty six socks for the little things.  Lucky dear.

The flowers are not yet out, unfortunately, although I do watch for them every day.  I haven't managed to catch anything fresh since late October and I have the greatest craving for bee.  Over the winter, I had to subsist off of the fleas on the horses and cows; I simply refuse to do such a thing again this coming year.  I shall winter in Miami.

(Besides which, fleas are horribly stuffed with saturated fats--rather like those things humans eat...umm, cips?--and I made a New Year's resolution to cut down.)

Having been the unfortunate captive audience to pig mating this year, I had some inkling that piglets would soon be forthcoming.  They have subsequent forthcome, and they are milking their mother and stumbling around blindly.  Awfully cute for mammals.    

One of them stumbled over to me and informed me that I am very pretty.  Piglets are not gentlemen Araneus cavaticus, nor are they age-appropriate for me, but this one did a charmingly nervous shuffle that vaguely resembled my prom date's mating dance.  Well, I mean!  How very kind!  After all, the last time someone said such a thing was...was...well.  Oh dear.

The piglet was the first to inform me of such a thing. 

I hope this is only my biological clock telling me I want adorable children of my own.  I need a date, or a spawn.

*despair*

Salutations.  Charlotte A. Cavatica here.  

I was enjoying a most lovely lunch when it occurred to me that perhaps it was time to move to a larger web.

So I did.

Clearly.

How to begin, I wonder?

Perhaps, simply thus:  never leave an open laptop on your desk.  You never know who'll start using your connection.  The cockroach in your shower is a charming fellow and could indeed be writing that blog you look up every day.